


The Bitter End

by Lokisgame



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e01 Little Green Men, F/M, X-Files OctoberFicFest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 00:37:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8307073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokisgame/pseuds/Lokisgame
Summary: A visit from a long time friend.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Such were the thoughts of one Fox Mulder, stuck on a bullshit detail of listening to mundane conversations of petty crooks trying to swindle Uncle Sam a few bucks at a time.

_He has to distance himself from her. She doesn't need to concern herself with his overwhelming sense of injustice, bitter taste of loosing the one real proof that would validate his work in the eyes of their peers. For a moment it felt like his luck started to turn, but it was too much to hope for. As always, he went one step too far and THEY pulled the rug from under his feet. She shouldn't go through that again, she deserves better. She should get out while she still has a chance. He'll ignore her in the hallways, deny himself her company, the pleasure of her friendship, the good stuff. He's afraid, not of the commitment..._  
"You always had a flair for drama. God damn it Mulder, cut the crap." His inner voice leaned against the wall in the back of his head "This is your own head so be honest with yourself. You're scared shitless." His tone dry "They killed Deep Throat because he helped you. Scully could be next. Fuck, she WILL be next. Kidnaped, tortured, hurt, kil..."  
_No please, stop_  
"They would hurt her to hurt you, to crush you."  
_That's why we can't be friends. Not friends, not colleagues, not partners, nothing._  
"Not to mention all the nicer words you would love to call her."  
_Oh god, don't_  
"Isn't that what you really want? Am I not the conflict inside you?" The Voice's smile was smug as he popped a sunflower seed into his mouth.  
_I don't want to be with Scully._  
"No, you don't. You need it, you need her to let go of this bitterness. To talk to her because she understands without judgement. She was there with you, every step of the way, unlike others - oh stop crying for god sakes"  
_I don't need her._ Mulder curled in on himself further.  
"Yeah, she cares about you and you absolutely hate that." His inner Voice's voice was dripping with sarcasm "She didn't ditch you at the first opportune moment or try to use you, where's the fun in that. What could you do with such a woman, apart from marrying her and living happily ever after till the end of your days."  
_She wouldn't stand a loser like me in the long run._  
"You got that right. Most likely she's having drinks with her girlfriends right now, looking for a new kind of partner" the Voice pulled at the sleeves of his shirt, fixed the alien-head cufflinks and straightened his suit jacket "maybe already drowning in some wholesome-blonde-blue-eyes, with a steady 9 to 5 job and a Labrador puppy looking for a home. Another doctor maybe? A psychologist?" Mulder huged himself breathing hard, hoping the sound would drown out the hateful tirade  
"She's already forgetting about you and your crazy conspiracy theories. In a few years you'll be a scary story she will tell by the campfire to her head-physician husband and baby uber-Scully's on a nice trip to the woods." The Voice smoothed his tie and put hands in his pockets "You'll be a distant memory, buried under a foot of dust in your basement. Assuming you'll get your basement back, like ever, without her. Do you even have a picture of the two of you together?"  
_I don't know, I don't think so._  
"Why do you push her away telling yourself it will keep her safe? She's the first person you could really trust, but what good is that trust for, when you don't trust her to do that herself! You had a chance at a good life together, if you'd just let her stay instead of pushing her away. Now you're here and she's at Quantico, and nothing makes sense."  
_She was too good to be true._  
"Yeah, tell yourself that. For her sake."

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Leiascully's October Fic Fest
> 
> Posting this with my eyes closed, before I lose my nerve.


End file.
